ADVICE: He’s so bad, but he does it so well
Dear Tita Witty,
Good day, po. I just want to share my katangahan love story. I was in a relationship with a guy for almost three years, pero on and off po yong relationship namin and the final breakup we had was almost three years ago na rin. I chose to share this story with you kasi this is the relationship I had na super talaga ang mga katangahan na nagawa ko.
Ito po kasing ex kong ‘to, playboy. Member po siya ng isang hip-hop dance group. Marami pong nagkakagusto sa kanya kasi isa siya sa mga star members ng grupo nila because he really dances well and he has a lot of tricks in dancing like breakdancing, krumping, tumbling, etc.
During our almost three-year relationship, as I’ve mentioned, on and off po kasi I caught him cheating multiple times. He’d have different girls while we were together. At times that I caught him with another girl, we’d break up and after a few weeks, we’d reconcile. Then, after a few months of being together again, mamba-babae na naman siya, then he comes back to me. Then, cheat, then comes back to me. Maraming beses na po ‘tong nangyari. And every time he’d cheat, I would always forgive him. Even if he didn’t ask for forgiveness. Sobra ko po kasi siyang love, Tita. As in! There was even one time that I knelt down in front of him para hindi niya ako iwan kahit pa nahuli ko siya noon na may babae na naman.
But time came na napagod na ako and never chased him again. That time, ilang buwan akong walang balita sa kanya. But after a few months, I just heard that he was back with his ex (the girl before me). They were together for a long time before me and right after pala nong huling breakup namin, nagkabalikan sila and they even had a child. But before nanganak ‘yung girl, nag-break din sila and ’yung ex ko, iba’t-iba na naman ang babae. But after two years, may naging girlfriend siya na nagtagal talaga sa kanya. Nagka-anak din sila and this is his second child already. Ngayon, sila pa rin ng girl na ‘to. I can say they are happy. My ex is genuinely happy with this girl.
Pero bakit ganon, Tita, I can still feel my heart throbbing. I told myself I should be happy for them na lang. Pero bakit ganon, nasasaktan pa rin talaga ako tuwing nakikita ko ang mga posts nila na sweet sila. Tanga na talaga ako, Tita pero parang hindi ko pa talaga tanggap na wala na siya sa’kin. Even after three years na wala nang kami, bakit di ko pa siya nale-let go totally?
Tita, I need your advice.
Salamat sa pagbasa kahit super haba.
A Woman Who Can’t Let Go
Dear Woman Who Can’t Let Go,
Mukhang hindi ka naman na tanga ngayon. The fact that you chose to leave him years ago is a testament to that. At ngayon, I assume, wala ka namang ginagawa para balikan ka niya.
Siguro meron lang talagang ganoon — one great love, sabi nga nila. ‘Yung kung papipiliin ka ni God ng kahit sino sa mundo, kung walang masasaktan, siya ang pipiliin mo. Kahit na pwede si Adam Levine, kahit ialok na sa ‘yo ni God, siya pa rin ang gusto mo. At hiyang-hiya naman si Ate Behati sa ‘yo. Pero wala kasi tayo sa pelikula kaya we shouldn’t romanticize things in situations like this. As adults, we make choices that would be good for us and not just based on how we feel. Kahit mahirap, kailangang mag-move on. Kahit nakakatamad, kailangang pumasok sa trabaho. Kahit malamig, kailangang maligo. Pero kahit uso, kapag hindi bagay, huwag mag-skinny jeans.
Think about self-worth and self-respect. Did you like yourself when you would beg him not to leave you? When you’d take him back each time he would cheat on you? Wait, I mean, each time you’d catch him cheating on you? Sabi nga ni @badgalriri, he’s only sorry he got caught. Pero sabi mo naman, ni hindi siya nagso-sorry. Because he doesn’t miss more than just your body. Would you like to be that girl again?
Isipin mo rin ang lahat ng hindi mabuti sa kanya. Nambababae habang buntis ang girlfriend? Hindi man lang hinintay manganak?! Nasaan ang konsensiya?!
There is also no use in wishing you were the one who changed him for good and not the girl he’s with right now. Dahil bukod sa hindi pa tapos ang kwento, hindi mo talaga alam kung ano ang nangyayari in real life dahil syempre happy moments lang naman ang ipo-post nila. ‘Yang happy couples talaga na ‘yan, dapat may updates din tayo kapag nag-aaway sila para fair, ‘no?
Unfriend him on Facebook. Or kung ayaw mong mahalata, hide his posts. Huwag mo na rin siyang i-search, lulusot pa kasi eh.
Always remember that you made the right choice when you broke up with him three years ago. You are better off without him. Just choose to forget him, every day, and you will, eventually. Maniwala ka. Mga 10 years. OA ‘no? Sige, mga eight. Find a new hobby or learn something new. Hindi mo pa rin siya makakalimutan, pero at least, may bago kang alam.